How not to be "That Girl"

So I'm at work with Dakota smoking cigs, shootin the shit and drinkin a faux martini- I'm on the clock- (I'll put the recipe at the end of the post) and people watching. Working on 4th street, I see a LOT of people (mostly chicks) who I can't help but talk shit about. Its just little things that irritate the FUCK out of me. And I'm goin to make a list lol.

1) Girls who can't walk in heels- baby, if you can't walk in a 4inch heel, don't wear em!!! Get a lower heel, or take your heels off for a bit! I can't stand seeing girls walkin around like lame horses. I will put you out of your misery.

2) Girls that wear clothes a size too small- ok look, when you wear clothes that are too small, you just look like a sausage. Sausages aren't sexy. Wearing a small top when you are in fact a large will NOT push you're tits up or out- you just push them in and give yourself uni-boob. Also, its just not cute.
And don't fuckin wear shit from the kids section if you're a grown ass woman; the shirts are made for 6 year olds, not a size 6 woman.

3)Girls who pile on the makeup- ok lah, confirm I REALLY can't say too much on this because I wear a lot of makeup too. BUT here's the main difference- I don't pile it on 136585 layers deep. I don't look like an acne riddled clown. That really bugs me, I hate seeing chicks with bad skin who pile on the foundation. Baby- get some tinted moisturizer and skin care. BOOM.

4) BAD extensions/weaves/wigs.- Another thing that I can't say much on lol. But really, my wigs aren't bad, they're just synthetic, I'm poor lol and I'll get a human lace front eventually. But anyway, I should not be able to count your shrinkies/micro rings/fusion glue beads/rubber bands/ weave thread/ tracks when I'm walking behind you. JUST SAYIN. NOR should I be able to tell that your "everyday" wig is from the halloween store. I guarantee you that you can find a decent wig on ebay or in the wig shops. If I can, you can too.

5) Cellulite and short dresses - ok boo boo, I get that you wanna be cute and all, but I also know that you spent an hour in the mirror checkin yourself out. And I know you saw those waves and ripples on your ass and thighs. With that being said-- COVER THAT SHIT UP!!! DON'T NOBODY WANNA SEE YOUR ASS AND THIGH OCEAN!!! FUCK!! Buy a dress that's 2 inches longer! I have cellulite too! But you won't see me flauntin it when I'm dancin on a speaker!!

And that's about it for right now. I'm pretty sure I'll add more lol. I hate a lot of things.

Kaywowws faux-tini

*4 oz cranberry juice
*1 shot lime juice
*1 shot of soda or tonic water - I use soda
*2 olives (optional)
*1 lime slice for garnish

Mix all liquids in a martini glass, garnish w/ olives and lime

Order a sullys special. Enjoy

Back on board

So I've been away for a while, my bad!!! I'm just super busy.

What's been goin on in my life you ask? Well my friends it's quite simple:

I work 40 hours a week lol and ive got a boyfriend!!!!! ＼(^o^)／
はははは
Fuckin finally!!!!

But that's really nothing important lol, well not to you guys at least.

Also I'm blonde again. It's been a while since I've had an "unnatural" hair color, so I had to change that. ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

O yeah! I'm blogging from my iPhone! It's really nothing special or fancy lah, the blogger app won't let me sign in half the time (♯｀∧´) but I do love my deco apps lol

Also, chris makes me happy

Opposum Drama Trauma

This has to be the silliest, dumbest, girliest blog post

So my dog killed a opposum yesterday. no biggie, happens all the time.

My dad disposed of said marsupial but putting it in  a bag and putting the bag in a box and putting the box in the trash.

ok cool. 

So im getting the trash together to take out. And when i got to put the trash in the trashcan, all i see is this fuckin tail WRAPPED AROUND THE TRASHCAN HANDLE

So i drop the trashbag, squeal and run back into the house.

I text my dad that I'm not takin out the blue trash can.

He comes out of his room and is like what?

"ITS FUCKIN TAIL IS TOUCHIN THE HANDLE!"

he starts laughin and goes outside to put the deceased fully in the trash can.

ok. all is good.

NO.

I took out the other trashcan 1st cuz it was heavier and then came back for the coffincan.

WELL, i wasnt aware that one of the wheels has fallen off. So as im getting it off the platform, THIS FUCKER FALLS OVER

FUCK

Ok..so i take out the trash and come back for the box.

I am not touching this box directly. fuck that. no.

i dont do dead animals. they scare me to death.

So i get a shovel!

yeah, it took me five mins to  get the fuckin box on the shovel.

and then i had to carry its carcass all the way to the fuckin trashcan.

DEAR GOD.

so i toss it into the trash

 and run back into the house screaming.

hello 2012

hello!

so its a new year! 

2011 flew by for me!

But it wasnt a bad year:

*hit 100 blog followers

*got 50,000 views

*found an iphone

*found a potential boyfriend (a few actually, but only 1 i've decided that i really want to be with)

so yes, all in all not bad.

Soooo about this guyyyy i cant say too much because i TECHNICALLY shouldnt be with him because he works with me and is one of my like 9 bosses; oh to be so low on the ladder when i could do EVERYBODYS job the RIGHT WAY. -___-

but anyway,i will say that his names chris, hes 29, has a chinstrap (ULTRA PLUS) and is a great kisser. 

that is all.

o! yes and new years party!

i ended up going to a party with my friend chrissy. My other friends went on some couples date. sorry for being single : /

but whatever~ the party was fun!

I had to throw together an outfit and makeup cuz it wasnt super last minute, but i was in a xanax coma from like 10pm friday to like 730pm sunday. 

also i was alone at midnight cuz chris was at work. so midnight kiss for me. #foreveralone

on to the pictures!