Cruella De Vil Ft. I Love it by Icona Pop

Nudity!

heller!

So I'm at home job-hunting/ watching HGTV. Had a super random thought:




I wonder how many of my neighbors have seen me naked???

or at least my boobs lor?

Our apartment has so many windows that we really dont need to turn on any artificial lighting until the sun is down (Which is fine by me because I prefer natural light.).  However, the apartment is also badly insulated-- so  in the summer if its 75 outside its probably 85 in here.

-Dont judge me- but I really hate air conditioning, it makes my head hurt. So I pretty much always have the windows up.

and no shirt on...

not a huge deal to me, I'm in my house, my private domicile.

But lots of windows pretty much opens your world up to anybody  who looks in .

I live in the Highlands /  Deer Park in a fairly busy neighborhood with lots of walkers and such, and a lot of families.
(I will never have enough money to raise 2 kids in the highlands - _________- saddest realization in my life)

also lots of other 2 story homes with windows facing us.

So I'm 95% sure most of my neighbors have seen my boobs.

LOL I'm probably some teenage boys first wank experience!

I asked Cheftopher what his thoughts w\on the subject were and he just laughed and was like

"its not a big deal, we're in our house. If they don't like it they can install blinds or close the ones they have."

TRUE FACTS!

o well. word vomit over.

Im just gonna leave this here...

K & L

I apologize in advance for the wordy blog.~ i may toss in a picture here or there.

Originally I was going to post a draft post from last year, but I decided against it. The draft has a lot of personal information and a lot of very harsh words...I will pull selected material~ just not all of it.

I had a friendship that lasted a very long time, 10 years to be exact. I thought this person was my best friend. ya know BFFs~ but forever is a VERY long time, and things dont always work out how you planned.

Last year (s/s 2012) this person (i'll call her L for short), pretty much stopped talking to me. i had assumed that it was just because she was busy with school and work, so I didnt make a big deal of it. In May, L sent me a fb message stating that (according to her) I  have several substance abuse problems.

At this stage I simply explained to her that I DONT have any of the aforementioned "problems"  and it was suggested that we "take a break; but keep in touch".

i honestly dont know why i agreed to the break. it was a dumb idea then and its still fuckin stupid.

(note--at this point~ L & I hadnt spoken since like december 2011~ THAT was our fuckin break)

anyway~ we agreed on a 2 month break. Over the course of a few weeks I texted L. nothing major, just a "how are you?" here and there. I probably texted her twice in 3 weeks.  And she never returned my texts; until one day in June-ish when I finally got tired of it.

So of course I confronted L about her lack of "keeping in touch"

I will gladly admit that maybe I fucked up~ but when I see "we'll keep in touch" I assume we actually will. 

--------draft excerpt------------

Today i texted her at 1:24pm just a simple hello. 

no response.

5 hours later Ive still gotten no response. and at this point im fuckin over it. How the hell are we supposed "keep in touch" when she wont even return my texts??? so I texted her basically sayin that im over this shit. she wasnt putting forth any effort into us saving our "relationship", and that if she wanted to just go ahead and break it off that i was fine with it. Im tired of wasting my time with somebody who didnt seem to care.

I honestly didnt expect a reply, but i got one.  Apparently may 5th to may 31st is only 2 weeks (its 3). and that she was giving me 2 months to clean up my act because I wasnt  "showing her that i cared". and that i was "secretly talking shit" to purposly get her riled up. and that in doing so, was showing my immaturity.

I was then told to "Grow up." & that she said 2 months and she meant it and that was the "End of Story".

and that she didnt want to hear anymore.

Fucked up right?

this conversation pretty much turned into a brawl.

FIRST OFF ~ YOU are not my mother, NOR my father and you WILL NOT give me an ultimatum like I am some child

"No we're not and honestly you apparently need someone to talk to you in "this manner"

You need to quit being a self arrogant bitch.

And as for ME being a bitch, so fuckin what. I'd rather be an arrogant bitch  than a  whiny cunt

 i wouldnt have responded to your fb message, i wouldnt be trying to "keep in touch", which you obviously need a refresher course in

 right now youre a train wreck.
For my trainwreck thing i see it as the fact that your "amazing boyfriend" is your hookup
You think youve got some type of rockstar life and you dont.  

 believe me, there were a lot more things said, by BOTH of us.

seriously im done with this senseless conversation. you are going to keep justifying that youre right and theres nothing wrong.

and after that, we were done.

Or so I thought.

December 22, 2012, L texted me while I was in Ohio with Chris:

"...I also figure we should get past everything thats happened. Theres a good reason why we;ve had a ten yr friendship. I would like yo move on and honestly, I really miss you"

So we started texting. again. 

for a little bit at least.

She told me about a few things going on in her life, and then I began to notice the pattern that my other friend J had mentioned.

"she comes back to you when her lifes not goin the way she wants"

and honestly I pushed the thought aside for a while, but as the conversations between L and I became lesser and lesser, i realized that J was right.

L only talks to me when shit hits the fans in her life.

and i'm sorry, thats not a friendship.

When I would text her, she'd "never have time to talk"

Sucky huh?

But if thats the way she wants to be thats fine; I dont have time for fair-weather friends.

I want to say that we could try this again, because no lie, L was my best friend, and I DO miss her;
but its not worth it if shes just gonna run away to her work friends when I do something she doesnt like. especially to have her come back in 6-12 months when her work friends dislike her again.

oh well.

have any of you guys dealt with a fair-weather friend

updates updates updates

KNOCK KNOCK BITCHES!

out of the cocoon

hello guys!

I havnt posted in few months, but i have good reason!
I fell out of the loop to re-invent myself and my style.

so prepare for that in 2013.

anyway~

Its almost christmas!!! HORRAY!

This is gonna be my first christmas away from home!
Im gonna be in the Cleveland Ohio area for a few days with the boyfriend and his family!

Also, ordering phones tonight! nothing fancy~ just iPhone4s', Sprints got pre-owned ones for $50, so Chris and I are each getting one. both white, since theyre out of black ones. and otterboxes. I will happily spend $40 to keep Bloody Mary from befalling the same fate as Henry VIII... lol~ see what i did there?

But yes, so check back in 2013 ya'll!

have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and have a  Happy New Year <3

self love

“Everyone’s calling me a freak, so, like, if they have to look at me and be rude, I’ll look at myself and be nice.”

“A lot of us are really self-absorbed; we’re more into, like, ourselves.”

“Self love’s the only love, the first and the last!”

-Richie Rich

The Quest for Ringzilla

hello hello!

long time no blog~

life you know.

this entry is pretty random (its about rings)~ so i'll give you a little backstory/factual nonsense abt me:

• I like nice things
• I want to get married.
• I will hopefully be married soon.
• I dont want a wedding
• Wedding planning would kill me
• I would become a bridezilla
• Weddings are stressfull
• Weddings (at least MY wedding) cost more than im willing to spend
• I refuse to rent a dress or buy one that will be worn once
• I'd rather spend that money on the honeymoon and my ring
• This is my dream wedding ring:

Maybelline Dream FreshBB review

So i posted a video review of the maybelline BB cream (in dark obviously)
tell me how you feel about it!

My Anti-Aging Skin care routine

[this is not an advert. I was not sponsored or endorsed in any way. All of these products were bought with my own money. also, this is MY new skin care routine, what works for me may not work for you.I am not responsible if you get breakouts, don't like these products or if your face falls off.]

 

 

Hello Butterflys (yes I call my followers Butterflys)

You may recall from this post that i started using a new skincare routine. And my skin has improved soooo much! Its clearer and brighter and that makes me happy!

BUT!!!!

I've noticed a few fine lines around my eyes and my mouth that don't make me happy :( but then again I am (almost) in my mid 20's which is truthfully when skin starts to age. nothing TOO serious, but your skin usually starts loosing its elasticity, ability to produce collagen and your skin cell turnover rate slows down resulting in duller, less radiant skin.

 

I'm sorry but I aint got time for that!

I plan on being a MILF and then a GILF (grandma id like to fuck).... JUST SAYIN!!

 (and yeah, I am 100% aware that I should stop smoking if I dont want wrinkles.

quiting is hard.

I'M WORKING ON IT)

 

So, recently I changed my skin care from anti-acne to anti-aging!

and these are the products I now use:

I love this cleanser! it comes out super creamy and then after you wet it it becomes the most wonderful, rich lather. omg I love it. it has a really nice smell that's not too strong or overpowering. and after I rinse it off my face isn't tight or anything.

After using it for a few weeks, my skin had become smoother and is still as radiant as it was when I was using the Burt's Bees.

this shit is BANANAS!



next up is my eye cream/gel:

Super amazing~ the Day cream is the white side. it has SPF 25!! and the Night gel is...a gel lol! its green! I've also been using this for about a week and my eyes are less puffy in the morning and my little baby crows feet are gone! the night gel is my favorite because the texture is super creamy (but not heavy) and once you rub it in (use your pinky or ring finger to rub it in, they have the lightest pressure ;) )

PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE IS KEY MY FRIENDS!!!

Next in line is my Night cream

This stuff is HARD.CORE.

Its meant to combat advanced signs of aging which I don't have yet, but I'd rather treat it early.

this is how Avons anti-aging products work,they have 4 different lines of skin care depending on your age and/or your visible signs of aging:

I really could get away with using only the Anew Rejuvenate series, but I received this ULTIMATE NIGHT CREAM from my lovely great grandmother (who's in her 80s, and just started using this even though i told her the only way to get rid of her wrinkles would be to get a face lift, and then i said but you're not getting a face lift cuz you look fine). anyway she gave it to me because she said she didn't like it/ "it doesn't work"

WELL~ it DOES work! and quite well, just not for somebody in her mid-80s.

The picture is a little misleading because its not really a cream. its more like....hmmm im not sure of how describe the texture/ consistency. its more like hair dress.

its kind of silicone-y in texture, but it glides on so smooth and absorbs into my skin so quickly and leaves my face feeling almost balmy(?), but in a good way!

 

NOW

 

for my "extras" as I call them.

these items are things I use on an "as needed" basis.

 

AMBI® Fade Cream for Normal Skin

$6.49

 

95% of the time right before my uterus starts actin a fool like it runs this shit, I usually get a small breakout. No biggie!

 

EXCEPT for when I get THAT ONE FUCKIN PIMPLE that is HUGE and under the skin.

(that bastard zit)

The spa  (link here) I go to where I get waxed and the occasional facial  is super amazing and when I feel one coming on, I go in  and get a "zit zap" to keep the vile beast from becoming cystic.

(the zit zap is free with any facial)

 

However, after the zit understands that I will not put up with its bullshit, it has the last laugh and leaves me with hyperpigmentation aka a fuckin dark spot.

 

that motherfucker.

 

So, i use Ambi fade cream.

 

it has a pretty weird smell,but it works!

I apply a thin layer over the spot 2-3 times a day and in about 2 weeks the spot is gone!

 

Its also good to use if you have tar baby elbows and knees like I do lol

 

yeah....I said TAR BABY

 

WHAT THE FUCK OF IT????

 

lol,  but really, dont get your panties in a twist.

 

my blog, my rules.

 

Carrying on, my final "extra", is also a pretty beastly product meant for women in maybe their 40's

 

 

yeah, the big guns.

 

RoC

 

I mainly use this on days where I have to look photoshopped IRL,which isnt often now lol.

 

But this when used in conjunction with my Avon products , makes me look GREAT.

 

I use this for the lines around my mouth and around my lips.

 

Since I smoke, the elasticity around my mouth has a greater chance of getting weaker faster, so I use this to plump my face up! FUCK YOU WRINKLES!

 

since it does have retinols in it, you HAVE to wear sunscreen with it or risk a SUPER NASTY SUNBURN.

 

My day moisturizer is still Burts Bees

 

 

and even though my cleanser has exfoliants infused in it, I still do a very thorough exfoliation about three times a week, because I'm really OCD about my skin texture.

 

 

most favorite exfoliator EVER.

 

I can not live without this in my life.

 

So yeah! this is my anti-aging skin care routine now!

 

I'll be doing another post on anti-aging skincare soon!

 

What do you guys to to stay young and fresh?

 

ya know, besides be young.

 

WE CANT ALL BE 16 WITH PERFECT SKIN

 

LOL

 

ta-ta my Butterflys

 

coming up!

hey guys! so ive been totally mia through 2012. sorry lol, it was just a poopy year.

BUT 2013 will be my year!

im planning on getting a 2nd job sometime soon, so i shall have more income to pay bill and shop

but mostly pay off my mountain of debt

also 2013 will be my one year anniversary with Christoper!

yay us!!

after 2 years he said he would marry me :3

we got this!!!

also,im finally feeling super motivated and positive!

so i may do a few videos in the next couple of weeks!

i may do a skin care video, my eyebrow tutorial and i HAVE to redo my "catching up with kaywoww" video, since the mic on chris' laptop wasnt working when we filmed to 1st one lol.

lol look at this hot mess~

i also plan on reding my blog like 100%

i usually do it all myself, but since i had to wipe my computer, i lost a lot of my GIMP brushes.

also im not really sure how i want to do it.

maybe ill spend a little bit of money and have a custom layout made!

anybody have any suggestions for a good blog/graphic designer that's pretty cheap? I don't wanna spend more than $35 on my silly little blog lol

Help a gal out!!!

Truly Outrageous

let it all out

hey guys!

So i am totally over EVERYTHING.
LIKE OMG
no joke, i fuckin hate everything~

i dont know why i have so much rage. maybe i should get some therapy.

so heres whats been goin on since febuary

• ended a 10+ year friendship over something that couldve been worked out easily had there had been communication
• my dog max started having moderate seizures 
• found out max has a slew of problems due to age and breed:
• enlarged heart
• lung infection
• fluid in the lungs
• fluid in the abdominal cavity
• leaky lower heart valve
• whipworms

idunno how the fuck he got worm, but yeah...basically my 13yo chow/Shepard mix has

Congestive Heart Failure

The seizures were due to the fact that he wasnt getting enough oxygen to the brain. and the fluid in his lungs and abdominal cavities was due to his leaky valve. and hes become anemic due to the worms.

 Luckily! he has a very good vet, who flew in a specialist (i know right a dog heart specialist dafuq?!~i aint mad tho) to treat my dog. So he is on a slew of medicine to fight off the infection(s), a dewormer to get his red blood cell count back up and a VERY expensive heart medicine to constrict the leaky valve and hopefully get upto 20% of that blood that wasnt pumping, back into his body where he needs it.

So hopefully my dog is gonna be ok. His eyes are still bright, his tails still wagging and he still follows me around like my shadow, so as long as his quality of life is still good, i refuse to give up on my dog.

and as for the ending of the friendship, it really couldve been avoided with proper communication.

BACKSTORY: 

The past year or so we've both been busy, so we never got to hang out, all of our communication was via social media, texts or phone calls. from last fall to the beginning of this summer or so we hadnt been talking as much...actually not at all. I had tried calling and texting her only to receive no response. I wasnt too happy about this obviously but i let it go thinkin maybe she was just busy with school or work or just life in general.

 early may, i receive a message on facebook from my friend saying that she had something to tell me and that she didnt know exact;y how to say it and that she hoped i wouldnt be mad.

and she proceeds to tell me that she thinks that i have a drug addiction and an alcohol problem on top of that.

um...no?

Allow me to elaborate:

I work at a bar, of course i drink. I used to drink QUITE a bit, not BLACKOUT EVERY NIGHT or anything,  but yes i was inebriated by the time i got home maybe 4-5 nights a week (also, i dont drive so dont think i was drinking and driving :p) and on a few occasions yes i did get blackout drunk. however, i always got myself home safe and was never a danger to myself or others.

and as for my drug consumption, i take adderall and xanax..not at the same time obviously, and i took at most 5 adderall and 6 xanax a month. i also do other drugs but nothing like meth or bath salts.

Man, drug addicts these days are LAME~

clearly i am not an addict.

but anywho~ the point is that she hadnt been in my life enough to really know what was going on; like i said i DID drink a lot, but after puking in my wig, i pretty much stopped drinkin. Fuck i dont even stick  around work long enough after i clock out to get my shift drink.

and the A&X, well it was derby week. and Derby week in the top-grossing bar in louisville~ 

IS A FUCKIN SHITSHOW

from May 1st to May 6th i worked 70 hours.

i shit you not. There was no way in hell that i was gonna be able to function at 100% without energy and sleep.

True Story.

Now, had I been poppin 6 bars a day and chased them with Patron & XXXXX was around to see this, I wouldve COMPLETELY respected her telling me that i have a problem. 100%.

But when you havnt made ANY effort to contact or talk to me in MONTHS and then decide to just roll up in and start flinging accusations at me with minimal or no proof, im sorry~ no. that shit dont fly.

blah blah blah~ She asked me to try and cut back on my drinking and drug usage. i told her the drinkings not a problem,  but with my schedule being as rough as it was its probably not gonna happen that next few weeks. But, i could easily cut down and/or quit once derby was over.  And i did, I havnt taken a xanax or adderall since then. She decided that we should "take a break" for 2 months but keep in touch.

Ok cool! im down for that! so its all good....for a few weeks.

When i hear (ok lah, READ) we'll take a break but "keep in touch", I assume that we will still be in contact during this break, nothing huge~ just a few hey how are yous, how was your day and things of that nature. Correct? Well i must have been wrong because for about 3 weeks i tried to contact my friend-keep in touch-as it were, only to not have my phone calls answered and my text messages ignored.

did i fuckin miss something???

So then we text argue and i just say look~ you just need to tell me if you want to continue to try and be friends or not, so that i can either keep trying or walk away.

It was pretty clear that nothing as of now could be done, so i told her to walk away.


If she cant believe that im  not an addict, then i cant have her as a friend. 


It sucks and im not happy about it, but thats life. And if she ever wants to try this again she has my number.


so yeah. 


lotta shit eh?


WELCOME TO MY LIFE YA'LL! 
ITS FULL OF CRAY!


but yeah thats about it. 


And after venting i feel a lil bit better. so if i seem distant or whatnot, you now have reasons why. 


Truthfully, im not a bad person, im not mean or angry, or an addict.


Im just, too caring, too nice and too stubborn.

herp derp

O hai. So, yeah.

My brogs not dead, nor am I lol.
Don't fret!
I'm just forever busy.

But I'm gonna do a review tonight and try to blog more on my off days!

<3
Kaywoww

New Sponsor

i'd like to thank my newest sponsor chanti eyelash for the AMAZING lashes that i'll be reviewing tomorrow!

Lake photoshoot

herro! so im pretty sure that anybody who is my friend on facebook or follows my sadly inactive tumblr has seen these photos, but if not, then you are in for a treat!

a few weeks ago or so i did a photoshoot with my friend chrissy and her friend kris. i kind of wish we had been better prepared, but they came out nice (at least in my opinion). but because C&K werent happy with their pictures, i will not be posting pics with them in the shot. :\

and yes, i am in hooker heels and yes the dock was moving as i was sitting on it, and it was freezing.

We're probably going to redo this shoot in may with a different photographer, just to see his work. i personally have no issue with how my photos turned out.

also, i did not shop anything in these pictures.

credits: Voodoo Angel Designs

Let it begin!

☆Kay WowWs back☆

HI!!!!!!!!!!!

how you guys been?

Obviously, as stated by my last post, I was going through a LOT of emotional stuff with the death of my Aunt and one of my best friends within four days of each other. February just wasnt my month. 

But , im ok now! ive grieved, and now im ready to get back in the game.

lets see, what all has happened...meh, honestly not much lol. Chris got a new job as the head chef (CHEF, NOT COOK) of a new restaurant. so hes in Annapolis Maryland for 5 weeks. 

im finally making money again at work since the dreaded dead season is FINALLY over!!! im also working 6 days a week >.>  i can deal with having no social life if it means i have money. I can shop on my phone at work!

tyra and my aunts hat.

i got my lace-front. her names tyra. I have super bond glue that lasts for about 6 weeks if taken care of properly, however, i cant keep my hair one way for long, so ive just been wearing her like a regular wig until i order wig tape. Also got the Vassen(?) "bambi" lense in violet; probably gonna get another pair in green or pink for spring/summer.

I got a baby pink wig too, but after being called nicki for a week straight, i had to change that bitch up. soooo i put in purple streaks and named her "Sweetie Belle". and yes, that is a MLP:FiM reference. 

and i gave myself a Brazilian Keratin smoothing treatment. but i'll talk more about that when i review it.  and until then, im gonna talk about ponys.

dont like ponys? too fuckin bad bro.

this is sweetie bell:

shes adorable.

shes Raritys little sister.

Sweetie Bell is as dumb as a rock.

shes still adorable.

Rarity is my spirit animal.

Im getting a Rarity tattoo for my birthday.

NO LONGER WILL I BE A BLANK FLANK!!!!!

im getting raritys cutie mark on my flanks!

i r excite.

but anywho, i must go, for i have to wake up at 8am to be at work.

march madness is driving me crazy.

Goin on hiatus

Hi guys, sorry for not blogging, this week has just been super sad and emotionally draining for me.

My aunt died Saturday and after her funeral on Wednesday I found out that one of my best friends that I've known for 5+ years died that morning.

(◞‸◟ㆀ)ｼｮﾎﾞﾝ


Thankfully I've got supportive friends and family along with an amazing boyfriend to help me get through all of this.

So I'll be back to blogging after a short hiatus to grieve and heal.

ヾ(*´Д｀*)ノ☆bye-bye☆ヾ(*´Д｀*)ノ

wah wah wah blah blah blah

herro. i havnt blogged in almost 3 weeks, wow.

not that its a big deal, its not like i post anything of severe importance lol

Im at work w/ chris, he's cooking every dish off of a new menu for plating and demo purposes.

THE KITCHEN SMELLS SO GOOD

i want food!!!!!

also- random thoughts on gyaru:

Im really over it.

im over people being stuck up other ppls ass
im over ppl saying this persons more gal than that person
im tired of "the rules"
im tired of the drama
im tired of the fakeness

I'm not goin to be quitting the style or anything, i just really dont give a fuck anymore.

lol not that it matters;

"im not gal anyway"

(well according to G_S)

ya know what--maybe im not.

i was punk before i was gal, and punk is still in my soul.

soooooo yeah.

im done.

goodbye.

random post in the kitchen "office"

hello hello! so i had a Friday (today) off from work!!

YAY  OFF DAYS

today was quite productive for me actually:

i washed like 2 weeks worth of laundry, cleaned the bathroom,the kitchen swept down the basement steps, cooked, fed, watered and played with the dog ALL BEFORE NOON!

PRODUCTIVE!

but since i didnt want to spend my off day stuck in the house smoking cigarettes and drinking martinis (hey, Im legal and i can do as i please!) i hung out with my friend Shannon and her husband Deon.

And where do u think we ended up?

SULLYS

yup, I always end up at work.

But i had good reason to:

Happy Hour from 4-8 (half price calls, well, drafts and wines, PLUS i drink for $2 since im an employee)

and my main reason:

Chris wanted to see me

awwwwwww

lol so from 4-6 we drank and did just random trivia w/ m y friend Taji who works down the street at The Pub, and chris came out and did some trivia with us and met Shannon.

She says hes a keeper :) that makes me happy.

But anyway, Shannon had plans at 8, so she left.

But i stayed to hang with chris and we have a date planned for after he get off work in like an hour or so.

Im chillin in  the Kitchen office at work (hes Head Chef/Kitchen Manager) on his laptop, pissing out this blog.

LOL

he just opened the door and said "I came in here for something..o yeah, thats right." Kisses me and then ran back onto the line.

BEST BOYFRIEND EVER

o yeah my outfits really cute too!

I'll have Chris take a pic later and edit this post.

but ok, guys, thats all for right now i think...

O!!!

My birthdays the 10th!!

hittin the BIG 2-3!!

woot woot!!!

lol ok bye!