Friday, May 10, 2013

K & L

I apologize in advance for the wordy blog.~ i may toss in a picture here or there.

Originally I was going to post a draft post from last year, but I decided against it. The draft has a lot of personal information and a lot of very harsh words...I will pull selected material~ just not all of it.

I had a friendship that lasted a very long time, 10 years to be exact. I thought this person was my best friend. ya know BFFs~ but forever is a VERY long time, and things dont always work out how you planned.

Last year (s/s 2012) this person (i'll call her L for short), pretty much stopped talking to me. i had assumed that it was just because she was busy with school and work, so I didnt make a big deal of it. In May, L sent me a fb message stating that (according to her) I  have several substance abuse problems.

At this stage I simply explained to her that I DONT have any of the aforementioned "problems"  and it was suggested that we "take a break; but keep in touch".

i honestly dont know why i agreed to the break. it was a dumb idea then and its still fuckin stupid.

(note--at this point~ L & I hadnt spoken since like december 2011~ THAT was our fuckin break)

anyway~ we agreed on a 2 month break. Over the course of a few weeks I texted L. nothing major, just a "how are you?" here and there. I probably texted her twice in 3 weeks.  And she never returned my texts; until one day in June-ish when I finally got tired of it.

So of course I confronted L about her lack of "keeping in touch"

I will gladly admit that maybe I fucked up~ but when I see "we'll keep in touch" I assume we actually will. 

--------draft excerpt------------

Today i texted her at 1:24pm just a simple hello. 

no response.

5 hours later Ive still gotten no response. and at this point im fuckin over it. How the hell are we supposed "keep in touch" when she wont even return my texts??? so I texted her basically sayin that im over this shit. she wasnt putting forth any effort into us saving our "relationship", and that if she wanted to just go ahead and break it off that i was fine with it. Im tired of wasting my time with somebody who didnt seem to care.

I honestly didnt expect a reply, but i got one.  Apparently may 5th to may 31st is only 2 weeks (its 3). and that she was giving me 2 months to clean up my act because I wasnt  "showing her that i cared". and that i was "secretly talking shit" to purposly get her riled up. and that in doing so, was showing my immaturity.
I was then told to "Grow up." & that she said 2 months and she meant it and that was the "End of Story".
and that she didnt want to hear anymore.

Fucked up right?

this conversation pretty much turned into a brawl.

FIRST OFF ~ YOU are not my mother, NOR my father and you WILL NOT give me an ultimatum like I am some child

"No we're not and honestly you apparently need someone to talk to you in "this manner"

You need to quit being a self arrogant bitch.

And as for ME being a bitch, so fuckin what. I'd rather be an arrogant bitch  than a  whiny cunt

 i wouldnt have responded to your fb message, i wouldnt be trying to "keep in touch", which you obviously need a refresher course in

 right now youre a train wreck.
For my trainwreck thing i see it as the fact that your "amazing boyfriend" is your hookup
You think youve got some type of rockstar life and you dont.  

 believe me, there were a lot more things said, by BOTH of us.

seriously im done with this senseless conversation. you are going to keep justifying that youre right and theres nothing wrong.

and after that, we were done.

Or so I thought.

December 22, 2012, L texted me while I was in Ohio with Chris:

"...I also figure we should get past everything thats happened. Theres a good reason why we;ve had a ten yr friendship. I would like yo move on and honestly, I really miss you"

So we started texting. again. 

for a little bit at least.

She told me about a few things going on in her life, and then I began to notice the pattern that my other friend J had mentioned.

"she comes back to you when her lifes not goin the way she wants"

and honestly I pushed the thought aside for a while, but as the conversations between L and I became lesser and lesser, i realized that J was right.

L only talks to me when shit hits the fans in her life.

and i'm sorry, thats not a friendship.

When I would text her, she'd "never have time to talk"

Sucky huh?

But if thats the way she wants to be thats fine; I dont have time for fair-weather friends.

I want to say that we could try this again, because no lie, L was my best friend, and I DO miss her;
but its not worth it if shes just gonna run away to her work friends when I do something she doesnt like. especially to have her come back in 6-12 months when her work friends dislike her again.

oh well.

have any of you guys dealt with a fair-weather friend