Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Opposum Drama Trauma

This has to be the silliest, dumbest, girliest blog post

So my dog killed a opposum yesterday. no biggie, happens all the time.

My dad disposed of said marsupial but putting it in  a bag and putting the bag in a box and putting the box in the trash.


ok cool. 

So im getting the trash together to take out. And when i got to put the trash in the trashcan, all i see is this fuckin tail WRAPPED AROUND THE TRASHCAN HANDLE

So i drop the trashbag, squeal and run back into the house.

I text my dad that I'm not takin out the blue trash can.

He comes out of his room and is like what?

"ITS FUCKIN TAIL IS TOUCHIN THE HANDLE!"

he starts laughin and goes outside to put the deceased fully in the trash can.

ok. all is good.

NO.

I took out the other trashcan 1st cuz it was heavier and then came back for the coffincan.

WELL, i wasnt aware that one of the wheels has fallen off. So as im getting it off the platform, THIS FUCKER FALLS OVER


FUCK

Ok..so i take out the trash and come back for the box.

I am not touching this box directly. fuck that. no.

i dont do dead animals. they scare me to death.

So i get a shovel!

yeah, it took me five mins to  get the fuckin box on the shovel.

and then i had to carry its carcass all the way to the fuckin trashcan.

DEAR GOD.

so i toss it into the trash
 and run back into the house screaming.